Blogging and Birthday Suits

Today, I am turning 35, which bears little relevance, bar the title, to the rest of this post. I have just watched Juno again. Great film. Totally deserves all the praise it got, especially for its screenplay. And the writer, Diablo Cody, happens to be an ex-blogger who happened to be an ex-stripper… Well…

I haven’t been blogging long. But I might call Diablo Cody and suggest that we start a facebook group and see if anyone else joins in: “Formerly stripping bloggers.” Beforehand, I just need to work out which category it would fall under. I’m thinking either ‘Entertainment & Arts’ or ‘Totally Pointless.’

So yeah. The upmarket joint (please, don’t laugh) where I took my clothes off for cash in Paris didn’t keep me on very for very long. My early retirement was possibly due to a couple of diplomatic incidents in the dressing room. Or else I never was very good stripper. Maybe again it was both.

Now that you’ve stopped laughing, I just checked, and fifteen years on “Chochotte” Le Théatre érotique et chic du Quartier Latin has a website. Check it out and tell me it isn’t as exclusive as a gentlemen’s club gets. Go on.

Either way, that was a great experience. And so far, blogging ain’t bad either. Diablo said she often felt more naked writing than stripping. Well, I wouldn’t know. I always feel very naked. All day, everyday – I like it just that way. Except today maybe, but then London is under the maddest snow spell it has seen in 18 years.


Day Four on Lexiphania: Blogging about Blogging

The creation of this blog is untimely indeed. There was a time – not so long ago – when I worked as a designer, and I thought of myself as an artist. A visual one.

But at the moment, all I do is write. I am blogging (as previously disclosed) as the CougarQueen, I am rewriting a script for an animated film… I’m writing copy for a website… and the rest of the time of course, I spend writing to my NY fantasy date. That’s a lot of writing by any standards, and to make matters rather worse, I am a professional procrastinator.

So the question begs – Patricia’s nagging notwithstanding – why create a personal blog at this precise moment in time? Well, the answer is: procrastination. I just found that out myself, two sentences ago. I started tonight’s ramble thinking the answer was: because I LIKE IT. Well, I do. But I need to face the truth: I’m using this blog as yet another escapist tactic, so that real work stays on the back-burner.

Post-Modern Skype Dating

For those of you wondering, I did get the underwear right on Friday night. I looked lovely. But that didn’t do much good, since I was petrified regardless. Funny, considering I don’t really do petrified in the real world.

He and I have been very intellectual in our email communications so far… and we didn’t manage to snap out of it on Skype. Of course, we ended up talking about the blanks and the awkwardness, and then proceeded to talk about the fact that we were talking about the blanks and the awkwardness, and how post-modern it all was. I’m now looking forward to our discussing my blogging about our talking about our talking. It’s gonna be fantastic fun. So I haven’t given up on us, far from it.  In fact, he’s still a perfect fantasy, and will remain so until reality proves me wrong.

Getting the Underwear Right

As any girl knows instinctively, when choosing an outfit, getting the underwear right is of utmost importance. If you do, then the rest follows. It’s the epitome of obviousness once you’ve formulated it thus, but I hadn’t, not until my friends Kate did it for me last year. Kate was helping me pick an outfit for a telephone interview.

I’ve been using it ever since, and in my experience so far, it’s a rule (a trick?) that proves true every time: for dates, for parties, and of course, for telephone interviews.

And tonight once again, I plan to make the best use of it, since I have a chat scheduled on Skype, that’s not an even interview, but a date. Now, I can foresee, and even understand, skepticism at that statement. But it is a date, trust me. If gauging it by the intensity of the anticipation I’ve been going through, it’s most definitely a date. Not only that, it’s also a first date. And it’s on Skype, well, because he’s there and I’m here. There being NYC and here being London. Bloody internet.

I’m not sure the other party sees this chat as a date, probably not. Especially since I doubt there will be webcams involved. But it’s Friday night after all, and what other excuse do I need to girly-up? Friday night and date, albeit the latter virtual – two good reasons to make sure I get the underwear right. Of course I also want to make sure I smell nice, so I’ll start with a bath. And I’ll start now.

Day One on Lexiphania

This blog is going to be about nothing and everything. I’m already blogging for a job (which pays peanuts but is fun), on a very restrictive subject: cougar dating. When I figure out how to do that, I will put a link to that blog on the left, or on the right even maybe. Yeah, on the right – had to think about that because I’m not a natural with left and right. In fact, when I give directions to a driver, I use “your side/my side” for “left/right”. Sad, maybe, but it’s a practical solution to a very real problem.

But yes, anyway – back to our sheep. I intend to ramble a lot on here, and I don’t intend to restrict myself in any kinda way. You’ve been warned. Writing on is a frustrating exercise – I mean now many spins can one put on the whole younger man/older woman thing? Well, I’m certainly doing my best to work that one out and I’ll make sure I let you know. The answer might be 42, and that, my friends, might in fact be THE question. So here, yes, this blog is meant as a rambling platform with no boundaries, walls or ceilings. Whether it does live up to its idiotic title is another matter.

Hello world! (and Hello Tricia!)

Ok, it’s 3.19 am, so I’m hardly gonna start rambling properly right now. In fact, in a bid to reset my sleep pattern, I will switch everything off (lights, computer, brains) shortly. Or as soon as I feel like it anyway. But since I just opened this blog, I felt it was only polite to say hello. And whilst I’m at it, I’d like to explain the colour theme… well it’s pink “for girls”. Charlotte York would understand. But at last, that’s it. I’m all set up. Thanks Trish for nagging long enough.